I struggle deeply with stress eating and being physically unhealthy. Many would say, “you just have to get up and do it” and yes while that is true, I not only want to be healthy physically but I want to be healthy spiritually. God has been laying heavy on my heart about the connections between my physical health and my spiritual one and how both can effect the other.
I am not new to the health and wellness scene. Growing up I was very active in sports. Although I ate poorly, it didn’t matter much because I ran it all off. Once I quit the routine sports, my unhealthy eating habits caught up with me. It wasn’t until after my first son was born that I decided to quit making excuses and get back to healthy. I ended up dropping 75lbs in roughly 8 months through healthy eating and exercise. I continued to keep the weight off after my second child was born and then until my last trimesters of my third pregnancy. It was in that third trimester of the third child that my circumstances began to reveal some serious problems within my heart.
Well, I would love to tell you that I surrendered over to God and I went through my valley time having learned all that I needed and I came out better for it…but that wouldn’t be my story. No, I went through my valley kicking and screaming. I was stressed and I blamed any and everything for it. Instead of surrendering, I held on to my ways and I paid dearly for it within my own body. The more time passed the more miserable I became and every issue began showing up in my body. I then got pregnant with our 4th child and the baby weight just added onto the issue.
Instead of turning to God about my stress I just self medicated with food. The endorphins that were released, when I ate, took the edge off an otherwise crazy day of raising and homeschooling kids. In other words, I had turn to food as my comforter rather than my God.
However, over the last few months, God walked me back into that familiar valley I had once walked. The pressure was on and the stress of my life heightened. My body began to severely suffer. My hair started to thin, I gained 10lbs in a matter of months and the scariest for me, my “female body clock” began to malfunction and be delayed. That’s when I took one long and hard look in the mirror at myself. I did not like what I saw physically but I knew my physical problems were only manifestations of my spiritual issues. Even more, I was sickened at the thought of my daughters looking into the mirror and being frustrated and miserable with their bodies, because of a sin I had not surrendered over myself, so that I could teach them a new way.
So begins my health journey. Not so much a weight loss journey, because that will come in the end, but a journey towards honoring God with my body, heart and mind.