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To The Tired and Exhausted Mama, I See You.

This morning I told the Lord, I just want to pour out my brain to help other women and moms. I just want to say, I see you!

So in his goodness, He let flow into words where I have been and where He has taken me.

Here is a letter to you Mama,

I see you there. You are working so hard to care for your family and your marriage. You give all you have but then there isn’t anything left. Then you get attacked by the enemy, your energy is gone, you don’t feel good about yourself, your discouraged, disappointed, and depressed. You get angry easily, your tired and you feel over looked. Your screaming on the inside “DOES ANYONE SEE ME?” Does a soul care? You try to read encouraging quotes and books to help you change but it doesn’t. Still deep down there is that exhausted mom, a shell of a vibrant woman lost in diaper duty and cleaning products.

You get tempted by the future days of kids getting bigger and older to do things on their own. You are tempted to wish away the younger years because you barely feel like you are surviving let alone thriving. I see you mama because I have been where you are. I see you trying to keep your head above the water and try to keep it together. No I don’t mean the house or kids, I mean on the inside trying to keep together your heart and your mind. Desperately trying not to worry about every little detail.

I have hope for you. I have an answer but it’s not easy. It’s hard. It cuts right down to deepest reaches of your heart. It unlocks the darkest of rooms and cleans the dirtiest parts of hearts and minds. It challenges you constantly. It pushes you so far beyond yourself that your life is like walking on water. The answer is the answer to every tear you have cried silently over babies heads and in the brief alone time in the shower. It is the guilt freeing answer to the to the anger that wells up and is unfortunately unleashed on the unsuspecting children and husband. It is the answer to the discouragement in your marriage. The answer to the lack of connection and communication. It is the answer to every fear of the present and the future.

This answer can only be Jesus. It isn’t the brief devotional about him in the morning or just on Sunday. It is the hard silent time with him. It is the waking up early before the day begins relationship with him. It is a life to live outside the norm or the status quo to have something better and deeper. Not a bandaid over our issues but a healing and transformation of our hearts and minds. A life that produces eternal fruit a joy that cannot be stamped out by circumstance. This is the answer to your tired and weary hearts. He is the strength you desire. He is the love the you desperately want and He is the comfort and provision to your every need. So mama, as you work tirelessly for your family, I challenge you to lay them down at his feet and begin to work towards knowing the one who has the answer.

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10 years of Marriage

Today we hit the 10th anniversary mark of our marriage. I would love to say it’s been sunshine and rainbows but it hasn’t. It’s been hard. Life has taken many turns that I never expected. When we first got married our future was nothing but a picture of all of the beautiful possibilities I had envisioned in my head. However, as I travelled down the road of life the Lord led me in different directions other than white picket fences. He led me to unimaginable circumstances and a life full of fruit that is bared through surrender and sacrifice. My marriage is no where perfect and I’m not perfect. I struggle daily to set my selfish desires aside and pick up the Lords. I struggle even with the basics of caring for myself so the well isn’t dry so I can give to my husband and my family. But see, during this incredibly difficult seasons of extreme discipline, fruit that is eternal is being produced. Love is being shown beyond circumstances and feelings. Joy is being found amidst trials. Peace and comfort abounds during storms. I can praise the Lord when the days are hard and painful and I can praise him when they are sweet and fragrant.

This isn’t where I imagined life. It is better. The Lord grows in me a deep love for Him and for my husband. He is sanctifying me through my marriage. He uncovers what is hidden deep in my heart and heals old wounds. He transforms my mind and heart to be like his. He sets forth and produces a heritage for my children’s children. A heritage of blessing and transformation by a God who loves and has more for his people than this world can give.

As we embark on future years of marriage, it is always humbling to remember that our marriage is only a reflection of the covenant marriage between Christ and the Church. He is our bridegroom and we are his bride. Forever together, saved and made holy through his perfect blood.