Lately, God has shown me a new layer of myself. I have known I was a emotional and sensing person (Myers-Brigg personality ISFJ), but I did not realize to the extent of how it effects me. Over the last 9 months or so God has been teaching me about rest and the need for it regularly. Physical rest and spiritual rest in Him. He has disciplined me to be more diligent in my physical well being and bringing my concerns and personal worries to Him.
However, over the last few weeks it seems like I could not shake a tiredness of spirit. It wasn’t until God opened my eyes and helped me to understand that I had been carrying emotional stress of others on my back. I had no clue how others felt effected me so deeply.
He revealed to me my heart and where this empathy is good and where it had taken a wrong turn. The Lord created me to be able to sense others emotions and be in tune with how they are feeling. I can sense a turn in someone’s mood without them saying a word or a shift in a room. He gave me the ability to see past someone’s words and sense a deeper conflict even when they say they are ok. He gave me His Spirit that enhances it and spiritual gifts to see others the way he sees them but with all of that it can get skewed. I had allowed mine to get skewed. My heart goes out to the hurting and those who are having a hard time. I just want to wrap them up and protect them and care for them. Even more so I want to open their minds and heart and dump everything God has ever taught me into them so they can see. But this is an impossible thing for me to do. I am not God. I cannot be everything for everyone. I cannot protect them from hurt and pain. I cannot put a magical salve over their issues to make it easier. Oddly enough I know that trials and testing are good and it draws us closer to God but I know how painful they are as well. All of that had been weighing on me.
God in his goodness reminded me that I was not created to carry these burdens around I was created to carry them to Him. I have the power to intercede for those I love with God. I have the power to carry those people to the cross and surrender them there. Only Jesus can break the barriers of hearts and walk through walls of wrong mindsets. Only he knows what each individual needs and only He is strong enough to carry the weight of each person on His back. Satan wants to hop on my back and try to tell me I’m neglecting these people and abandoning them by not doing more but it isn’t neglecting and abandoning when you carry them to the one who loves them beyond understanding. It’s not neglecting when you carry them to the High Priest who can sympathize with every pain and heal all the brokenness.
“Also, let’s hold on to the confession since we have a great high priest who passed through the heavens, who is Jesus, God’s Son; because we don’t have a high priest who can’t sympathize with our weaknesses but instead one who was tempted in every way that we are, except without sin. Finally, let’s draw near to the throne of favor with confidence so that we can receive mercy and find grace when we need help.”