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Oh please Lord, break the cycle and transform my mind!

I struggle deeply with stress management. I can even stress over trying to manage my stress (I know crazy…). I feel like I live in a cycle of wrong thinking and I know the only one who can break that cycle is Christ.

Let me explain through pictures:

This is me when I focus on trying to be an intentional mom and “let go” of all the inconsequential things of life (I’m talking about laundry, cleaning, cooking…you know the never ending always there stuff). I’ll do fine for a bit but the constant mess from life starts to grate my nerves to the point I can no longer think straight. I will get so overwhelmed by the mess if feels like a hammer to the head and I become incredibly angry…

So I think I need to get this mess managed…

I focus my attention toward the mess so my poor brain can rest. I feel guilty for neglecting my children and worrying about these everyday things. And all of that spirals into a depressive attitude.

What I know…

I need to trust Christ with it all. I know this in my head but my heart seems to be slow to really put it into action and live it. It’s like I can’t seem to break the cycle…I’ll cry out so stressed in my circumstances. I don’t know where start…

Finally God keeps reminding me (because apparently I’m slow to learn) that I am a conduit for him to work through but I need to understand my limitations and needs as a conduit.

1. I’m not a perfect conduit. I have a sinful nature. My body and mind needs constant maintaining to be able to work effectively.

2. Since I am a conduit, I must take regular time out to sit quietly and be alone with him. I also need to care for my body so that I have the necessary energy to do his work.

Christ displayed this caring for the conduit attitude. He regularly went away to quiet and lonely places to pray and be with the father. He also was known to take naps even during the storms. If he did these things how much more do I?

I do have to let go. I have to let go of the guilt of taking care of myself. I have to let go of the idea that I can be everything for my kids or that I can complete every task. Satan wants me worn out and angry or depressed. If he can get me in that cycle then I am useless. But if I trust Christ and maintain the conduit then I become a useful vessel to him to do the work he calls me to do.