Transforming Through Motherhood

Motherhood is like the chrysalis of a caterpillar to a butterfly. When we are young women, we desire to be full of grace and beauty like the butterfly. But before we can get to that point we must go through the chrysalis of transformation. It’s during that time of who am I anymore? Am I still the caterpillar I use to be? No, but I’m not the graceful butterfly I hope be either. Instead, I look at myself and I’m in the hard place. Unsure of who I am anymore…the days seem long and tiresome. But through that long period of transformation I slowly turn from the young caterpillar with so much potential and future ahead of me to the butterfly I had hope to be.

Motherhood is also like a fruit bearing tree. All women start off as seeds with great potential to bear fruit (children and character) but the tree must grow before it bears its fruit. We desire to bear wonderful ripe fruit but the ripening takes time. The tree cannot will itself to ripen a fruit faster. It’s maturity must be made complete. The tree must also go through seasons of pruning so that it can produce an abundance of healthy good fruit. So it is with motherhood. We cannot expect to be the mother and woman we want to be overnight. No, it takes time. It takes a ripening of fruit. It takes seasons of pruning. A time in which God removes things in our life physical or a mindset that prevents us from producing the wonderful fruit.

Developing into a Proverbs 31 woman is a life long pursuit. It doesn’t happen overnight. It is a transformation God does through us and especially through motherhood. The hardness of motherhood transforms who we are as women. I think for myself and maybe for others it is difficult to figure out who we are in this season. We know we are no longer the woman we use to be and to hold too tightly to the “use to be” is dangerous and we aren’t quite where we want to be either. So we might “lose” ourself and possibly forget who we are. But who we are, is in Christ. We are in a transformation period and it cannot be hurried or bypassed. When we learn to rest in the fact that God is in the process of transforming you day by day and that you can learn to have satisfaction where you are in that process joy can be found. God is creating a new woman defined by himself and made into a new creation. The work will be made complete.


Bow or Break: Surrendering to God and experiencing a Spiritual Calm

During this time of uncertainty there is an immovable God at work.

Around September 2019, I remember thinking, “Ok I got this, only a month more and things will get easier and slow down.” After thinking I just need to grit my teeth and bear it just a little longer everything will be so much easier. And God just flat out spoke to my heart and said, “No, it will only get more difficult.”

See at the time this was going on, I had a month to go before my 5th child was to be born. It was my first year tutoring, and I was leading several bible study classes. And then of course I just had the normal homeschooling, kids, and housework stuff to do. Needless to say I was a little busy and I thought that when the baby was born and we were going to be on winter break it was going to be calm.

The Lord corrected my wrong thinking and reminded me of this. What I was going through was very tough yes, but it is preparation for much more difficult life circumstances ahead of me. Little did I know at the time that when the baby was born I would get hit hard with postpartum depression and then move across the country for my husbands new job leaving all friends and family behind. Then only being in the new city a few weeks have to begin self isolation because of a pandemic.

My entire world as I knew it was flipped on its head within months.

At the time when the Lord told me it would not get easier it would only get harder I had no clue all of this was going to happen. I was just trying to survive those days but the lord knew what was ahead of me. There was a reason he corrected my thinking, if I had kept pushing forward trudging through to that “everything will be calm point,” I would have never made it to the calm because that circumstantial calm point did not come. The Lord was inviting me to a spiritual calm that could endure the circumstantial upheaval.

He is also inviting everyone in the world to this spiritual calm.

In this country, we are known for our grit and fight. We will continue on and keep pushing forward no matter what is in our way. We refuse to be slowed or beaten and when times get tough we grit those teeth and lean into it. Well folks, let’s talk about trees and storms! I liken that American spirit to a mighty oak tree. But our mighty oak has had its roots weakened by the worlds pleasures and have strayed from the Lord as a whole. During a hurricane, the winds beat the trees and push and push and the outward circumstances are brutal. The mighty oak stands tall and proud for a long time but at some point the winds are too much and they are completely ripped up from the ground. However a less majestic tree withstands, because it’s roots are deep and firm. It bends and bows to the mighty winds and when it is all over it might have lost branches and be bent and leaning but it is still rooted.

People, when we have our hearts set on gritting our teeth and trying to bear this brutal time of uncertainty by relying on our owns strength we will be ripped up from the roots. However, if we stay tender and malleable to the Lord bending and bowing down we will remain rooted. We might be a bit beat up and bit broken but we will still be firm in Christ.

So where is your heart today? Are you counting the days to “normalcy” or calm and just trying to get through? Or are you bending your knees and bowing your head to a mighty God so that you remain rooted as this storm of life removes the dead branches from us?