Heavy Hearted Mother

My heart is heavy for this world. If I could, I would open the minds of so many and dump the truths I have learned from Gods word into their minds but I cannot. To be honest, my flesh just desires for everyone to just get along and treat people the way you want to be treated. I would like warm and fuzzy and comfortable. But, this warm and fuzzy life of no conflict does not move forward. The conflict free life does not grow. A life of complacency or apathy does not breed life it breeds death.

My heart is heavy for my children and my grandchildren. What type of world will they grow up in? What type of persecution will they see? And yes, if they believe in Christ persecution is promised. As we approach the end of times and continue on in the last days they will be hated and reviled. It will be worse than any persecution we have seen to date. This world hates the truth and that is evident by our actions. We try to remove God from every aspect of our lives and then wonder why things are in chaos.

This world doesn’t value human life. The ones we value the least are children. Thousands around the world are kidnapped and trafficked and used for the most devious and evil actions. They are murdered in the womb and it is celebrated. My heart hurts. My heart hurts for those children and my heart hurts for those so devoid of truth to believe that it’s ok to do these things. These things cause me to want to just hide and pray that Jesus would return quickly.

The fact is, my flesh, my protective mothering heart says, “halt having anymore children.” No more, this world is too scary to grow children in this environment. Everything in me wants to say it’s time to quit but it goes in direct conflict with the call God placed on my life, that is, to leave the number of children I have to him. But, my heart hurts and my courage wains. It is only Christ that sustains me.

I pray earnestly for them and for this world. My heart is just broken. Jesus! I can’t quit having children and I can’t quit teaching them about Christ. All I can think about is what He might use them for. My oldest already believes he has been called to be a missionary and I know the others will have their individual callings upon their lives. One day Christ might use them to bring the news of salvation and hope to people who are hopeless. Maybe, they will lead remnants of Christs people in hope and faith. I do not know what the future holds for them or for myself.

But despite all of the pain and feelings of fear that well up I have to rely on truth. The truth is, God is patient and he is waiting on many more souls to turn to him to be saved. The truth is, that this world must go even further into depravity before he returns. The truth is, God sees every tear everything thing that is done in darkness and he will bring justice to the oppressed. The truth is, that his plans have not been thwarted by the evil in this world. The truth is, he has great plans for myself and for my children to spread his word and bring hope to a hurting world. The truth is, he knows all the days that are before each one of us and lovingly guides us through when we surrender to him. The truth is, no matter how awful the storm gets there can be peace within me. The truth is, that the enemy would love for me to quit having children. He would love for me to give into fear and hide away.

But Christ gives me courage to keep going on. He places a restlessness in my heart that keeps drawing me to him and to keep teaching my children his word. A restlessness that causes a stirring in my spirit to speak truth even when it is difficult for others to hear. He puts callings upon me that are more than I can bear within myself but he works in me and through me to accomplish his will.

A day will come where I will have to give an account for how I lived on this earth. All will have to give an account. And when I stand before the throne I pray that the Lord of Lords addresses me as “My faithful servant.” A servant not giving into to fear of today nor stopping because it is uncomfortable or there is too many unknowns.

My heart is overwhelmed, but each day I see him preparing our family for a life separate from this world. I see him creating the contrast from mainstream ways of thinking and sanctifying us. I see where he plans to draw us to a life dependent on him rather than the world. He does this to teach us how to live during times of trouble so that we can stand in the days to come.

Brothers and sisters, I pray that you seek out Gods wisdom for your family. I pray that you seek out truth. I pray that you do not desire comfort in this world and in the worlds ways but choose Christ and begin to be truly set apart from this world. I pray that you have courage to move forward in the hope of Christ not hope in humanity. Christ alone is our only hope.

“Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. “Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me. At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. “So when you see standing in the holy place ‘the abomination that causes desolation,’ spoken of through the prophet Daniel—let the reader understand— then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. Let no one on the housetop go down to take anything out of the house. Let no one in the field go back to get their cloak. How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! Pray that your flight will not take place in winter or on the Sabbath. For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now—and never to be equaled again. “If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. At that time if anyone says to you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah!’ or, ‘There he is!’ do not believe it. For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect. See, I have told you ahead of time. “So if anyone tells you, ‘There he is, out in the wilderness,’ do not go out; or, ‘Here he is, in the inner rooms,’ do not believe it. For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever there is a carcass, there the vultures will gather. “Immediately after the distress of those days “ ‘the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.’ “Then will appear the sign of the Son of Man in heaven. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn when they see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven, with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other. “Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door. Truly I tell you, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭24:4-35‬ ‭

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