What’s the difference between Bossiness and Leadership?

Oh man, so there is theme within our children lately of working together and playing kindly. It has been a serious struggle.

We have multiple leaders within our kids and they are navigating and learning the difference between leadership and bossiness. There are conflicts between extroverts and introverts some need constant people around other don’t mind to play it solo. The more easy going kids are refusing the follow the leading kids and the leading kids are flopping down and totally distraught at the fact they won’t play with them.

It’s a total mess. But within that mess I can see where God is preparing the leaders to lead in a loving way.

But in my knee jerk reaction to all the conflict and whining makes me want to lash out. In my flesh I want to yell out, “hey you are being a bossy brat! And no one wants to play with you!” quit doing that!

But realizing as a parent it’s my job to redirect and teach my kids and remind them who they are in Christ instead of letting the frustration reign.

I ask the two leaders what is it they really want? Do you care more about the game and someone playing it your way so you have fun? Or do you care more about having fun with the person?

And when confronted with that hard question God revealed in their own heart they were more concerned about themselves. I explained to them that if you play with only you in mind then it will only be you playing. But if we play and are more concerned about the other person then many will be drawn to you to play.

It the moments of frustration I think it’s hard to teach kids. Its hard not to let the flesh take over and yell out things that damage rather than build. The fact is God made two leaders and just like me or anyone else they are learning to become that leader. But since they have a sinful and selfish nature that leadership can turn to bossiness. As a parent I need eyes from to see past the sinful behavior and see the child for who God created them to be. To direct them toward him and cultivate who they are in him.

This is not an easy task. A lot of prayer and a lot of times me asking for forgiveness from my kids because I allowed the flesh to take over. When your children are in the throws of conflict or just simply driving you nuts, take a step back for a moment and ask God to see your child the way he sees them. Then you can direct them to the way He created them to be.

1 thought on “What’s the difference between Bossiness and Leadership?”

  1. Thank you! This is such a struggle, especially when it comes to not listening and destroying the house with mess after mess. Sigh


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