Recently, I started writing down my dreams (that I feel have some sort of significance to them), prophecies, and visions. I wanted to keep a log of them so I could come back to them and test them. One of the dreams I recently logged was from high school. It had meaning back then but it seems to have more now as an adult and life lived a little.
The dream starts with me in some sort corral for sheep. I realize that I have a snake on me and it had slithered onto my head. I try to claw at the snake to get it off but it doesn’t budge. It’s as if the snake adhered itself to my scalp. I felt extremely anxious and frustrated that I couldn’t remove it and that it was somehow stuck to me. I then realize on a large rock within this same corral is a Lion. I stand in fear of the lion but I’m not afraid of the Lion. I walk to it because I somehow know that the Lion is the only one who could remove the snake. But the Lion refuses to remove the snake instead tells me to walk with Him. The Lion transforms into a human we walk together by a river. He gives me peace and although the snake is still there I no longer feel frustrated and anxious.
Obviously the snake represents sin or suffering and the Lion represents Jesus himself. Now in light of life lived, I realize the snake is suffering and it is suffering of the mind. The very feelings I felt in the dream anxiousness, frustration, and depression are the very things I battle against. The Lion which only had the ability to remove it chose not to but instead told me to walk with him in that suffering. He gave me peace through it.
Many people battle depression and anxiousness and for me for a long time I thought it must be because of weak faith. Maybe I just wasn’t trusting God enough but after further studying scripture and church history I don’t believe that is the case. It is a thorn just like Paul’s. It is something I wish would leave to be normal and feel normal. But it is there and it is purposed. For what testimony or witness do I have to other hurting moms If I have never hurt before? Gods grace is sufficient.
I am encouraged by scripture in this. King David was all over the map with his emotions. One minute he is praising the Most High and the next he is down in the dumps. I am encouraged by Charles Spurgeon. He was/is amazing person of faith. His books, sermons, and commentary is widely respected. The wisdom given him from God to teach others absolutely tremendous but the man suffered with deep depression.
It is an encouragement to see similar sufferings and realize Christ alone is our help. He may not remove what we suffer with but what he will do is walk with us through it. He gives us the peace we need and comforts the soul. He uses that suffering to glorify himself and give us a testimony to others of his grace and mercy.